Friday, 4 March 2011

What's worse- getting hit in nuts, or giving birth?

When I first suggested to my wife that this was the next topic of my blog, she called me an idiot. She then also said I should write it.

I'll point out that I am happily married, and have a young son. So I have experienced the miracle and horror of child birth first hand. Obviously from a safe, pain free, distance.

I'll qualify my position straight up, I will never be able to argue that a single episode of nut impact versus giving birth are comparable. Despite much male blustering about being able to squeeze them out at half time in the pub shitter, I know that giving birth is much more painful than a single bollock collision. We've all seen and heard the animalistic, soul shaking, roar of a woman mid drop thanks to one born every minute.

So where's my argument? Well here you go-

1. Getting hit in the nuts is always a surprise.

Most women, in most cases, know they are going to give birth. Although they may not know how painful it will get, they can steel themselves, ready for the moment.

A man is always surprised when he gets hit in the nuts.

2. Getting hit in the nuts is never planned.

Most women will plan a pregnancy, or at least, stop taking precautions.

A man will never, knowingly, plan to get hit in the nuts.

3. Getting hit in the nuts can happen a lot.

Women have a finite number of times they can give birth.

A man can get a shot in the pods hundreds of times.

4. There's no sympathy for getting hit in the nuts.

A woman will be comforted by those she loves after giving birth.

A man will, at best, get a slap on the shoulder by a chuckling friend as he wipes away tears of laughter.

So there you have it. Conclusive prove and a stone cold argument if ever I saw it.

Whatever side of the debate you stand on here's some clips that are very funny, and make you glad that none of them happened to you-

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