Sunday, 30 October 2011

Gingers- A Guide

We all know at least one. Chances are over our lifetimes we've known several. But how much do we really know about these enigmatic carrot tops?

It's been mentioned to me that I've given the rouge tainted a hard time in other blog posts, hopefully this will set the record straight. Just like the closet racists that read the Daily Mail who have 'black friends' I have ginger friends. In fact I've got a flame haired wife.

So, gingers, they are with us on a daily basis. They can be broadly categorised as follows-

The Male Ginger-

Predominantly speaking there are two types of ginger male, which I have touch on in a previous post.

The first I will refer to as the 'rock star' ginger-

The rock star ginger enjoys life. They are typically popular, and are very charismatic. People are drawn to them like moths. Moths are also probably drawn to them in the dark.

They tend to have self destructive tendencies and are no strangers to pushing their bodies to the limit with drink and drugs.

Famous rock star gingers include-

The second male ginger I will refer to as the 'rock eater' ginger-

The rock eater normally has a brighter shock of red hair than the rock star. They will often have a more pale complexion (if possible). These are generally the gingers that foster large collections of freckles.

It is rare to see the rock eater in normal social settings after the age of 18 or so. This is normally because after the enforced socialising that education brings, the rock eater will retreat to IT departments, and darkened rooms to play Games Workshop products and World of Warcraft.

As a youngster it is likely the rock eater will seem slightly unbalanced and act oddly to attract the attention of his peers. Common behaviour includes eating rocks, litter, and cigarette butts.

The Female Ginger-

Again these can be broadly categorised in two camps.

The pasty, straw haired, cat lover ginger, henceforth referred to as 'cat lover'-

Very much the female equivalent of the rock eater. As with most things, women are better than men in social situations. This means that despite hair colour they are likely to achieve more in life than their male equivalents. They still remain a bit odd though.

Those that do not achieve these heady heights tend to enjoy spending their time avoiding the sun and collecting large menageries of helpless animals. Mainly cats, rabbits, and guinea pigs.

The second camp is the feisty, fiery, slightly dangerous, red head.

The 'red head' is a ginger, however they are referred to as a 'red head' to disassociate themselves from gingers. This is not intentional on their part, but society's. As a way of explaining the widespread attraction to these gingers it is deemed necessary to separate them from the standard ginger stock.

There are many fine examples of red heads, many of which are coveted widely by male society.

Of course this has given rise to the female cult of faux-rouge tops. Women now actively change their natural hair colours to appear red headed. This has yet, and is unlikely, to permeate male society.

So this covers off your basic ginger archetypes. There are further divergences on the above. The first I've already mentioned, the faux-rouge tops. The other is the 'carrier'.

The carrier-

To explain the role of the carrier we need a quick basic genetics lesson. Essentially there are two types of genes, dominant and recessive. The ginger gene is recessive, whereas dark hair is dominant.

This means that for a child to become ginger, the child will need to receive two of the recessive genes from a combination of the parents. Two ginger parents will in 4 out of 4 occasions produce a ginger child. A ginger parent and a parent with a recessive ginger gene will produce a ginger child 1 in 2 times. A ginger parent and a parent without a recessive ginger gene will never produce a ginger child. 2 parents with recessive ginger genes will produce a ginger child 1 in 4 times, without either parent actually being ginger.

The parent with a recessive ginger gene is what i am referring to as the 'carrier'. There is no way of telling if you carry the ginger gene until you have a ginger child. However there are good indicators.

Look at your family. For example my sister has a swanvesta husband, she has a ginger child, therefore she has the recessive gene. This means that one of my parents has the gene, and there is a good chance it has been passed to me. I have one child, and one on the way. My first born dodged the bullet, will the second? The odds are against them. Terrifying isn't it?

The second warning sign is a man's beard. When a man decides to embark on a beard sometimes out of nowhere ginger sprouts occur. Generally the beard will never be seen again, but should be seen as a warning sign, like a flare, that the recessive gene may be harboured.

Remember though that this is all with jest. It's not like I'm doing a South Park.

Further to that I thought it was worth showcasing the following chap on YouTube. He took a real disliking to the aforementioned South Park episode, and has some pretty interesting views in general. Suffice to say I've sent him a link to this post. I think he'd like it.


  1. Bravo!
    My partner has red in the genes, so we have a 1 in 4 chance. The future's bright, the future's satsuma.
    Mrs O

  2. Brilliant! You have opened my eyes. I'm now going to call the ginger brother & tell him he is neither a day walker nor adopted. Also, do you think the kid above is aware that he is a ginger Eric Cartman?

  3. The fear struck me that my son was a ginger. As he arrived covered in gore it wasn't this that shocked me the most. It was the ginger hair. Luckily he has now gone blonde. Thank god.

    My wife and I have had many arguments about who the 'carrier' is. It's obviously her, but I have taken it on the chin just to stop arguments about who the 'tainted' one is.

    It isn't me.


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