Monday, 12 December 2011

The 2011 Shit List

In a new feature to the blog (another in a long list of features that never went anywhere) I've compiled a list of companies and people that have royally pissed me off this year.

So here's The 2011 Shit List-

SouthEastern Trains

I stopped using these retards about 2 months ago when I changed jobs, and I couldn't be happier. They are completely incompetent. Their failure to run a train service is only matched by their failure to treat their passengers with any degree of respect.

I suspect that if I even take one journey with these numpties in 2012 this will be a non-mover.

Every dickhead who fails to indicate

****WARNING**** The c-bomb is dropped shortly.

I'm concerned. I fear there is a shortage of indicator bulbs. Either that or there is going to be a monumental number of MOT fails next year.

Or it could be that you're one of the human filth who fails to use that small lever on the steering column to let other motorists know your intended direction.

It's not difficult to use, and it is required by law. So stop being a cunt and use it.


Drivers in the wrong lane

The guys above are lucky, they retain their status as human. They're still scum, but they are human. It's only thanks to these guys though.

If you drive in the wrong lane you are sub-human scum. A handy indicator is if the people to the left of you are traveling faster than you are, YOU ARE IN THE WRONG LANE. YOU DICKHEAD.

I'll accept that sometimes you just end up in the wrong lane, as long as you make an effort to move, that's fine. It's the people that stare straight ahead determined to force people to carve around to get by.

We're all looking at you, and we all hate you.


These guys have managed to swoop in at the last possible moment. Again incompetent customer service is a major factor.

You'd think if you buy something you'd be able to use it, wouldn't you? Not with these boys. After a week of fruitless endeavour it only cost me £12 of phone calls to get my money back.

EDF Energy

Customer service is becoming a theme here. EDF get the next entry, why? Well I finally decided to compare my utility costs, EDF came up cheapest. Apparently the change over would be easy.

6 months on and EDF have yet to bill me as they can't agree a starting meter reading with British Gas, I've now moved to nPower. Will they be here next year?

BBC Radio 1

I sit next to the radio at work. I'm sure Radio 1 play more than 10 songs. However due to the 10 songs that they have on heavy rotation it's all I remember. Most of these songs are complete dog dirt.

The DJ's with a few exceptions are also vacuous idiots.

The twat that can't work the padlock

Unless you use the car park I share this will have no relevance to you. This person always puts the padlock on backwards. Everyone else puts it on the other 'correct' way.

I know this because it's hotly debated with my neighbours. If I catch him at it he will learn the error of his ways.

Dover Pier

I broke my fishing rod here a couple of weeks ago. Black listed as a fishing venue from now on.

X Factor

I'm not going to bang on about the contestants or the format, or the scurriously exploitation. No, my problem is with the adverts. Does it really not already generate enough cash?


For the i n t e r m i t t e n t broadband service. I just want constant service. It doesn't have to be fast, just constant.


  1. Top list Shaneo. Good observations.

  2. Fully agree with Radio 1 (I have been a Radio 2 listener for a number of years). I would take it further and say "Chris Moyles". Not because he is a fat, stupid, c*nt (he is), but because the format of his show has remained the same for too long. Playing overused sound-bites again and again and again does not = comedy gold. It equals an inability to keep your show fresh and interesting with new comedic material. I also hate his face.

  3. Also, my 'shit list' would include cheap toilet brushes with a screw on head. Being a constant trainee on household chores (thanks wifey) I am learning that spending more money on things makes quality of life considerably higher. Cheap bog brushes are the worst. When you have scrubbed your stinking mess from the latrine and the loose head falls directly into said watery mess, even a robust flush mean you are going to have to reach into the depths and fish it out. You see why this makes the shit list.


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