Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Why Jessie J is a twat.

She's the darling of the British music scene and has a global fan base including Justin 'Trousersnake' Timberlake. I however think she's a twat. Here's why-

She's full of shit.

I've searched and searched but I can't seem to find the link to download my free copy of 'Price Tag'. I mean, it's not like Jessie would charge us, would she? Surely not after a sparkling call to arms like "Well, keep the price tag, And take the cash back. Just give me six strings and a half stack, And you can keep the cars. Leave me the garage And all I, yes all I need Are keys and guitars". Apparently not, if you want to join her glorious world view it'll cost you.

It may not be about the money, but it's probably about those fucking horrendous nails she flashes about.



She seems to have no concept of what she says.

"I'm back in the swing, getting my cast off after nine weeks of this awful Smurf shoe. But it's put everything in perspective. I have a different respect now for people who don't have legs." - Jessie, after having her ankle in a cast.


You read that right. Similarly every time I lose my keys I get an insight into the challenges faced by the homeless.


Her singing pisses me off.




Ever heard her sing? Some people like it and that's fine. If IIIII uh uh oh oh oh IIII spoke li-ey ey ey ey-ke this-is-is-is-is, oooooo ohhhh yeahhhh you'd get pissed off.


She's a show pony.


It seems that if you want a career in pop you need to adopt a wacky fashion sense, coupled with a savage haircut, and some form of personal tragedy. Chuck in a comment about being sexually ambiguous and bingo, you've got a career.


I can't escape her bullshit.


I don't blame Jessie for this. I blame the BBC. Not only does my wife insist on subjecting me to her inanities on a Saturday evening, radio 1 insists on playing her latest single several times a day.


That's why I think she's a twat. It's just my opinion, and as it's my blog I'll say whatever the hell I want.



Having said all of that, I wouldn't kick her out of bed.....as long as she didn't sing.




The writer of this blog is taking part in a ludicrously long charity walk for Asthma UK. If you're feeling generous you can kindly sponsor him here.

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