Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Why Jessie J is a twat.

She's the darling of the British music scene and has a global fan base including Justin 'Trousersnake' Timberlake. I however think she's a twat. Here's why-

She's full of shit.

I've searched and searched but I can't seem to find the link to download my free copy of 'Price Tag'. I mean, it's not like Jessie would charge us, would she? Surely not after a sparkling call to arms like "Well, keep the price tag, And take the cash back. Just give me six strings and a half stack, And you can keep the cars. Leave me the garage And all I, yes all I need Are keys and guitars". Apparently not, if you want to join her glorious world view it'll cost you.

It may not be about the money, but it's probably about those fucking horrendous nails she flashes about.



She seems to have no concept of what she says.

"I'm back in the swing, getting my cast off after nine weeks of this awful Smurf shoe. But it's put everything in perspective. I have a different respect now for people who don't have legs." - Jessie, after having her ankle in a cast.


You read that right. Similarly every time I lose my keys I get an insight into the challenges faced by the homeless.


Her singing pisses me off.




Ever heard her sing? Some people like it and that's fine. If IIIII uh uh oh oh oh IIII spoke li-ey ey ey ey-ke this-is-is-is-is, oooooo ohhhh yeahhhh you'd get pissed off.


She's a show pony.


It seems that if you want a career in pop you need to adopt a wacky fashion sense, coupled with a savage haircut, and some form of personal tragedy. Chuck in a comment about being sexually ambiguous and bingo, you've got a career.


I can't escape her bullshit.


I don't blame Jessie for this. I blame the BBC. Not only does my wife insist on subjecting me to her inanities on a Saturday evening, radio 1 insists on playing her latest single several times a day.


That's why I think she's a twat. It's just my opinion, and as it's my blog I'll say whatever the hell I want.



Having said all of that, I wouldn't kick her out of bed.....as long as she didn't sing.




The writer of this blog is taking part in a ludicrously long charity walk for Asthma UK. If you're feeling generous you can kindly sponsor him here.

By The Man Blog.












10 comments:

  1. On your last comment I used to think the same, but I keep seeing her on the voice with her hair tied back and can't help thinking she looks like a bit of a tranny.

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    1. http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00669/1c0d5639-03ae-420d-_669582a.jpg

      Very strong jawline don't you think?

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  2. That's a jaw line chiseled from granite. I'll be keeping an eye out to see if she has suspiciously large hands....

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  3. i just googled 'jessie j twat' and this came up. Good. She is a twat, so up her own arse and so iritating. I'm not violent but everytime i hear her talk i want to punch her. She always bigs herself up as a "singer-songwriter" even on the karoake x factor show but if i wrote bland, shit songs like that i would keep quiet and pretend someone else wrote them. fucking twat.

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    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha I google "Jessie J twat" as well to find this, apparently it's a very common thought!

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  4. Add to that the way she has to sing along to every single song performed on the voice and the way she says things like "need to bring it dot com." That isn't cool and edgy. It sounds like a marketing manager talking to me. She probably says 110 percent at least five times a day and she has clearly adopted her mockney accent. Which means she can't count, articulate herself in any clear way and is a twat. Only Danny on the Voice is probably a bigger twat on my telly at the moment. Thank God I can play Football Manager while my mrs watches these two pompous little pop muppets pontificate like they might actually have a worthwhile opinion between them when in fact they are a pair of over groomed arses. Sorry, I'm sure they might even be nice people really but my god do they irritate me.

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  5. I'm really keen to find out if she has ever been buggered. If she is bi its feasible a man could have jammed his cock up her arse. And if rumours are true and she only does girls maybe some butch has slid a strap on up her brown hole. Either way I'd love to know, and love to know if she made a shrieky howl like when she is singing? And finally. If she has earned her brown wings, I hope it fucking hurt.

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  6. Love this blog. She really is a twat....

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  7. im glad its not only me that thinks she is a twat..... she grates on me. she so far up her arse.........

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