Thursday, 24 May 2012

Man Thanks

When normal thanks isn't enough, you need 'Man Thanks'.

Do you need to find a way to express your gratitude beyond the restraints of a curt 'Thank You'?

Struggling to convey the emotion of the situation, whilst avoiding any girly connations?

Look no further. Learning the four techniques below, you'll be able to not only give thanks, you'll be giving Man Thanks.

Technique 1- The High Five.


Uses- Spontaneous celebration and thanking. Used for rapid expression of gratitude.

How to perform- Maintain eye contact with arm raised. Your aim is to have your arm fully extended and elbow locked at the point of impact.

Tips- At the last moment focus your site on the target palm. This will ensure a solid connection.

Things to avoid- Miss-fives, or high threes. There's nothing more embarrassing than mis-hitting a high five. Leaving someone hanging is also criminal. It's not yet punishable, but I'm lobbying for a mandatory prison term.

Technique 2- The Fist Bump (never refer to it as 'fisting').


Uses- Lower key, subtle thanking and acknowledgement.

How to perform- A knowing smirk normally precedes the fist bump. Offer the fist at roughly shoulder height, with a crook in the arm.

Tips- You're looking for reasonable contact, without punching.

Things to avoid- Referring to it as fisting. Bringing the fist down, rather than forward.

Technique 3- The Chest Bump.


Uses- Thanking and celebrating moments of high elation, often associated with sporting achievement.

How to perform- Again eye contact is crucial. Timing is also important. This is a pure demonstration of organic, spontaneous symmetry.

Tips- Don't under cook it. The impact should force, you and your fellow bumper, backwards.

Things to avoid- Tilting your head in the wrong direction, this can lead to it looking like your going in for a kiss. Also avoid stumbling. This takes away from the majesty of the event.

Technique 4- The Man Hug


Uses- The purest form of man thanks. It's also the most emotional. This can be used in lots of situations, but overuse can dilute it's significance. Weddings, funerals, promotion of football team, relegation of football team, death of a heroic dog, farewells the wrong side of ten pints, and occassionally after a long absence are acceptable uses of the man hug.

How to perform- Brevity is essential here. This technique does not need an extensive duration, such is its power. A firm double hand slap hug, follwed by two firm slaps (hand slightly cupped) on the back is all that is required.

Tips- Avoid eye contact during. Break immediately after. Lean in at the waist, there's no need for your lower half to get involved.

Things to avoid- Maintaining the clasp too long. Over patting.


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