Thursday, 3 May 2012

Sunglasses- accessory, or mark of a twat?

Unbelievably someone has actually decided to submit something to the man blog. To paraphrase football pundit and professional sexist Andy Gray- "Take a bow Jim Green"

Jim, or James, Green is a regular follower of the man blog and a blogger in his own right. You can read his blog here.

"Firstly, what an honour it is to be given the chance to write on the Man blog, many a work hour have been whittled away by reading the glorious content and I see this as a place to let off a little steam, have a little rant and join my fellow men in wondering why the world just isn’t a more simpler place where everyone (women) enjoyed the pleasures of a day spent in your boxers playing Call of Duty.

But anyway, I digress. My chosen topic is sunglasses.




Yes, they’re a handy little item. Good when during that one day in Britain when the sun decides to pay us a visit and we can don them to stop our eyes from burning. Or when holiday in a nice tropical destination that has stolen its quota of sun from Britain where you can wear them all day and end up looking like something from Kung Fu Panda.

Aside from those odd occasions when they can be worn though, the proportion and frequency of people where sunglasses has increased. There are times when they are simply not needed, at all. And it’s at those times that I want to shout at people, snap the object from the bridge of their nose, throw them on the floor, jump up and down on them shouting “no need, no need”.

Here are a couple of occasions that particularly annoy me:

Sunglasses indoors

No need. You’re indoors – there’s a roof and there are walls about that the sun cannot perpetrate through. This means that there’s little to no direct sun light meaning that your eyes can cope with the light that has occasionally been let in via some sort of window device. If your eyes are unable to cope with the light coming in then you probably need to see someone.

Sunglasses on the tube

Whoa. This one is particularly annoying. Different to being indoors as you are sort of out – in a way. However, what with (on the whole) being under the ground there is no way that sunlight can get on to the train or platform. If anything the areas of the underground in the UK suffer from being too dim in the first place. There’s also a health and safety issue here – after walking in to the underground from a bright sunny day (which is presumably why you have sunglasses on in the first place) then it may take your eyes time to adjust and render you sightless – made worse by the sunglasses – and you (if you’re a tourist and not sure where you are or where you’re going) will stop, undoubtedly in the middle of the busiest walkway at the station and cause me to pile into you unknowingly as I make the dash home away from the dirty city.

I have found that this particular offence tends to be committed by European tourists – notably Italians. Maybe their excessive use of sunglasses explains their crazy driving habits.

Sunglasses at night

It gets worse doesn’t it. Sunglasses. The word is a bit of a give away. Sun-glasses. Sun. Yes, that’s right, glasses to wear when the sun is out. If the sun is out at night then we’ve got a massive problem. Take them off, pillock.

Again this poses a health and safety risk due to not being able to actually see where you’re going. I’m told in trendy nightclubs (I’m too old and have one too many children to go to those sort of places) that it’s fashionable to wear them here. Trust me, if I ever go to one of these places and you bump in to me and knock my drink over someone because you can’t see where you’re going then there’s going to be trouble

Sunglasses when it’s not sunny

Similar to the occurrence of them appearing at night, if it’s not sunny then there’s no real need for them. Living in Britain we should be well used to this occasion but no, recently during the unending period of rain we’ve recently had I saw a man with sunglasses on – holding an umbrella. Somehow, I managed to withhold myself.

Again, this does seem to be mainly a ‘European’ thing though I have noticed it creeping in to our own British population.

So that’s it. There are many things that annoy me regarding what people wear but sunglasses is my particular pet hate. Thanks for listening!"

By James Green

Good stuff there from James. If you fancy having a rant you can submit it here.












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