Friday, 17 August 2012

Top 10 Wesley Snipes films

Did you know that Wesley Snipes has appeared in nearly 60 films over the course of his career? Me neither. It's probably because a lot of them either went straight to video, or were shit.

He is probably the highest profile "action" star missing from the cast of "The Expendables". A shame as he had a lot of offer, just not money.

Anyway the reason behind this post is that the other night I watched Passenger 57. The film started me thinking about the good, no, great films that Wesley has appeared in. I decided to list the top 10. Unfortunately there aren't 10 "great" films. So here's a list of his 10 best films. Some of which are shit.

So in at number 10-

Blade Trinity: The third installment of the vampire/superhero series sees Blade take on Dracula himself.

This film is utter guff. The only redeeming features are Jessica Biel, the fact that Triple H is in it, a shameful smattering of product placement, and the world's greatest insult committed to screen....

The writers need to be very proud of themselves. The editor of the clip should be as well for getting the late, great, John Candy in there as well.

Numero 9-

To Wong Foo: I'm not going to lie I had to pad this list out.

I mean seriously, how did this film ever get funding? It only makes the list because it features Patrick Swayze in a dress.

It makes no sense.

Swiftly onto 8-

US Marshals: The unnecessary, and spritual (if not official) sequel to the Fugutive sees Tommy Lee Jones chasing down another convict. He's not guilty either.

It's all a bit too familiar so they chuck in a bit of conspiracy and it's enough to get the film of the ground.

It's not a bad film, but it can't touch what is to follow.

Lucky 7-

The Fan: "Gil Renard is a salesman in the knife business and is also completely obsessed with the game of baseball."

This is the opening sentence of the plot summary on IMDb, and it says a lot about the film. The only reason this entertaining toot makes it this high up is because of Bobby DeNiro.

Wesley does a good job of being a "jock" though.

Number 6-

Money Train: The second pairing of Woody Harrelson and Wesley sees them trying to steal a train. A subway train at that.

Not only that, but they're brothers. Despite the fact that this sounds like utter twaddle it's good fun. Plus we get to see Woody and Wesley 'riff' with each other again.

In at 5-

New Jack City: It's deep, brooding, and Snipes is at his best as a bad guy. I really don't know why he doesn't paly more bad guys. He always comes across as a ruthless nutter.

Number 4-

Blade: I'm not going to lie, most of this film does not date well. Some scenes are still really awesome though. I'm thinking the vampaire rave....

This makes it in at number 4 because it was before it all went a bit silly.

Right now we're really getting into it. No more treading water, this is Snipes gold from here on in-

Number 3-

Passenger 57: 1992 was a pretty good year for Wesley. To an extent this film highlighted some of the US's worse fears, which tragically went on to become true almost a decade later.

A terrorist takes over a plane. Luckily Wes is there to take care of things. He kicks some ass, the day is saved, twice, and Snipes bags the girl. Good work sir. It also features a young Liz Hurley, being a bit of a slag, so that's a bonus.

 Ok onto number 2-

Demolition Man: How can this be number 2 I hear you ask? Well wait and see number 1. For now let's bask in the glory that is Demolition Man.

Sly and Wes looked like they had fun on this, and why wouldn't you? Essentially they blow a lot of shit up.

There's also a strange vision of sex in the future and a odd way of cleaning your arse with seashells.

Now the biggie. What could possibly be number 1? Well if I was making a list of Woody Harrelson films this would also be number 1, and he's done some real gold. It is of course, the one, and only.....

White Men Can't Jump

"What is a quince?", what indeed. If you get that you'll know what I'm talking about (it's like a pear by the way).

There's so much great dialogue in this film it's hard to pick out the best. From Wes' wonky hats, to Woody's dumb hick, and the acapella group of pensioners this film always guarantees a smile.

So there you go. Do you fancy writing a top ten list based on an actor that was never really any good? You can do so here.


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