Monday, 10 September 2012

The double denim gambit

Everyone wears jeans, right? I would also fancy that most have at some point owned a denim jacket. Some have even gone for a denim shirt, the crazy fools.

Wearing any of the above in isolation is fine and you will incur no wrath. Combine any of the above and you're tempting the wrath of the fashion police.

I've been quite vocal on my feelings regarding double denim. I think it's ok. I wear jeans, and if i want to throw on my denim jacket to pop out, what's the issue?

Quite a big one according to the wife.

I remember a time when this was acceptable, or have i always just been a trend setter?

Well apparently there are rules with denim that allow you to double up without incurring the rage of scared and more fashion conscious better halves and friends.

Rule 1. Be Bruce Springsteen.


No body fucks with the boss. As such he's been given a green light to wear what he wants, when he wants. He just happens to like denim, and with good reason.

Rule 2. Be Jean Claude van Damme.



One of only two men able to successfully round house kick an opponent whilst wearing bollock hugging denim slacks, JCVD uses his green light to promote Coors beer.

His brand of double denim involves the lesser worn denim shirt. This means he's only a jacket away from triple threat denim, and no amount of round house kicks will allow him to carry this off.

Rule 3. Be Chuck Norris.



The Norris rocked this look every now and then in Walker, Texas Ranger.

He's also the only other person to pull off a roundhouse kick in clock weight strangling denim strides.

Let's be fair if Chuck decided to wear double denim, who would stop him?

Rule 4. Exist solely in the 80's.



This does not mean do as hipsters do.

The only way to follow this rule is to invent time travel and go back with a printed manuscript of this blog (as it didn't exist back then).

Pretty tough to do.

Rule 5. Be an actual cowboy.



It's prerequisite uniform. If you don't have the denim you're not a cowpoke.

These rules have been carefully compiled after discussing this topic with friends and the wife. They have caused me a great deal of distress as I still maintain that double denim can work.

As such I am one of very few brave souls who try and wear jeans and a denim jacket.

I hold my head up high knowing that one day, eventually, I will surely be "on trend".

As for triple threat denim, you'd have to be fucking bonkers.......or Chuck Norris.



WARNING C-BOMB DETONATION IMMINENT.

Also a bit of topic, but a valid point that came up a few times, is that if you wear espadrilles, you're a c*nt. End of.


What me to stop writing this rubbish? Write something so I don't have to here.

 
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