Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Jazz Mags - A dying tradition

***Masturbation news***

In a startling report released today it seems clear that the days of Fiesta, Razzle, Escort, and their ilk, are numbered.

In the report Dr. Handzbanger, head of onanism & frotting studies at Middlesbrough community college, indicated that in less than twenty years the traditional scud mag will be a thing of the past.

"With most men now accessing single handed artistic material digitally, whether it be on PC, or mobile device, the younger generation are having traditional scruff routes cut off," said Handzbanger, "most sock drawers now contain socks, and you'll be lucky if the hardest thing you find under a bush is the Freeman's catalogue".

The report continues that without this source of jazz mags, school and paper boys are becoming dangerously distracted by what they are actually supposed to be doing, and real girls.

Handzbanger has petitioned the government, and implores all fathers to furtively purchase publications such as Mayfair and Knave and store them in the sock drawer, or on the top of the wardrobe, so that traditional smut does not die out. He also implored wives and girlfriends "to turn a blind eye."

The government is said to be monitoring the situation with concern.


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