Monday, 12 November 2012

Man phrases

There are an abundance of terms that chaps use on a regular basis. Some are, frankly, terrible. Others will stand the test of time.

This post is dedicated to those phrases that should adorn any upwardly mobile gentleman's lexicon.

1. Fuck you.

A great two word sentence. Short and very much to the point. Whether used as a retort to a sharp barb from a friend, or as an aggressive warning to some jack the lad who's pushing his luck. In simplicity we find beauty. Fact.

2. You're shitting me.

When something is so surprising it's beyond kidding. It's so surprising that it's actually "shitting". Think about the power in that statement. I dare you.

3. I shit you not.

The perfect retort to the above. It's a bit like how Yoda would say something, but a bit more urban.

4. Do one.

Another great example of a short sharp statement conveying great power. No one actually knows what "one" is getting "done", but when it's time to do it, it gets done.

5. You cunt.

Fucking BOOM. Enough said.

6. Get fucked.

A phrase used to signal the end of a conversation or debate. It's surprising that this usually has negative connotations, as most men spend most of their time trying to "get fucked".

7. Bullshit.

A bit old fashioned these days. Best used when imitating Schwarzenegger.

8. You're shit out of luck.

The addition of "shit" really makes this work. As a sentence it makes very little sense, yet the recipient of this phrase is left in no doubt at the amount of luck they have, none.

9. Fucking dickhead/cunt/arsehole/prick.

Classic utility phrase. Best used in anger and oft heard in cars and vans across the country. Best not to undersell it, really spit that second word.

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