The inquest will begin immediately with any troll found with internet access forced into direct sunlight, thereby turning them to stone. Pro-troll support group 'Troll Information Technology Supporters' (TITS) spokesman, Hardy Cockwright immediately responded, "Most trolls have no interest in attacking people online. They are much more interested in goats and hobbits. A small number have tarnished the whole community and to punish all trolls is unfair".
Although no trolls were available to interview in person, there were several voicing their opinions online. 'Badboi69' said, "come and get me. cunts. megalolz, rofl lmao, hope you die. laterz haterz". Further comments included "yak yak, ma dong is 4 ya mum. dicks. lol", and "mef. mef. you is a mef. Cameron is a cheese sniffer. sots". The stream of comments continued to descend into nonsensical gibberish.
The inquest is likely to last several months and was reportedly ordered after Mr. Cameron saw a comment on a forum stating "David Cameron likes it up the chuff from Cleggy".